Matchmakers
by ShadowBlazer
Summary: As an institute crammed with soldiers, monsters, and spies. it's hard to avoid being nosy and interfering with each other's lives, especially love lives. With the best/worst intentions, of course. Multiple POV's. [Lux x Katarina]
1. Garen: First Date

**Author's Note**: I've been out of the writing loop for a long while, so I did this piece to practice getting back in. Let me know what you think. Also, there is a mention of same-sex pairings, so if you feel uncomfortable about that, probably best to leave.

Incidentally, I write in present tense usually, so if anyone spots any tense differences I missed, I'd appreciate it if you point them out. Also, I heavily borrowed a lot of story and character elements from Cinis' _Jinx? Stands for Best Matchmaker Ever!_ Dur!, which inspired me to write something completely silly and 's a great story, and is a very worthwhile read. Anyways, usual disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from League. Have a good read.

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"Relax, Garen. This is nothing to be scared of."

"I am not afraid." The Demacian Vanguard glared at his hands, which had been bending his utensils without his notice. He added them to the growing pile beside him. "I just don't understand why I have to do this."

The voice sighed in his ear. Something about the limitations of the device Lux stuck in it made her voice come out as strange and tinny. "Because you're almost 30, and you've never been on a date."

"Luxanna, I'll appreciate it if you don't meddle with my affairs." Garen fiddled with the black device on his collar, currently disguised as a button. He felt stupid speaking into it. Cursed Piltover technology. "I am the Might of Demacia, and I have—"

"Never been with a woman."

Garen sputtered. "That's not—I've been—"

"Big brother, you need this. Seriously. For Demacia. We're all sick of hearing you, 'polishing your blade' every night or 'testing the grip'." She paused, ignoring her brother's vehement and horrified denials. _"_Think of this as intelligence gathering. Surely, even you could get something to slip from the Sinister Blade. Plus, you've been pining over her for ages with all your pictures of—"

"I don't have time for this." He stands up. "There's much to be investigated, men to train, Jarvan IV to protect—"

"YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID TO GET YOU THIS DATE, SO DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE, GAREN CROWNGUARD."

He sat right back down. He rubbed his ear. "This is for Demacia, by the way. Not because you told me to."

"Of course._"_ Lux's tone was smug. "Oh, she's coming. Look sharp."

"Where?"

"Here." Katarina drops into the seat across from him. "What did you have to discuss with me?"

Garen didn't recognize her at first, as she had thrown on a blonde wig and a leather outfit that did nothing to hid her plunging neckline. He had dressed up as well, mostly because Lux told him to, but she said he looked sharp with his slicked-back hair and well-made suit. Also, the hair covered his earpiece, which was great for hiding it.

"Valoran to Crownguard?" Katarina leaned forward and waved her hand in front of his face. It made her neckline plunged lower. "Did you have something to say?"

Garen gulped and clutched the utensils in front of him.

His Demacian loyalty demanded that he stand up and execute this Noxian on the spot. The man part of him told him to shut up and stop ruining his own date.

"Or are you going to make yordle eyes at me all night?" Katarina sat down and spun a butter knife around her fingers. She looked at him out the corner of her eye with a glare that made the Vanguard's heart beat faster.

"Of course not." He cleared his throat. "I believe my sister, Luxanna, told you that I wished to meet to talk about—"

"How is Lux?" Katarina's countenance changed. She began to purr. "She was ever so sore the last time I saw her."

She—what?

"She's quite a player. So skilled with those fingers. I didn't believe how much of a moaner she was after one of her many _losses_. " Katarina smirked. "Give her my regards, will you?"

Garen stared at her, detecting something in her tone but unable to decipher it. "What do you mean?"

"She was very willing to play with me, quite the screamer when she _wins, _eager to please..." Katarina sighed at his blank expression. She began to make graphic hand gestures demonstrating her message. Garen stared at those offending fingers going in and out, in and out for a few moments before something clicked.

"That's preposterous! Lux would never entertain the idea of such..." Deviant thoughts! "She is a fine woman of the Crownguard house. Very proper. Always thinking of serving others first."

"Can't argue with that." Katarina's grin grew so wide that Garen felt lewd staring at it. She leaned back and smirked. Garen wanted to argue, but there was Lux's earlier message about him not knowing how she set up this date for him that made him hesitate. He wondered if...

Garen growled and shifted in his seat. "Excuse me. I need to use the lavatories."

He made his way to the men's room before turning to duck behind a plant. He pulled his collar up, speaking into the black device.

"Lux."

"Yes, Garen?"

"How did you get me this meeting with the Sinister Blade?"

"She likes to play a lot of games. I happened to beat her at one." A pause. "Aren't you supposed to be with her?"

"I told her I had to use the toilet," Garen said, brusquely. "What were the details of how you beat her?"

Lux made an impatient noise.

"I was playing chess with her. You know that Noxian game that hurts your head a lot where you move pieces on a board—"

"We do not associate with anything Noxian!"

"...right. Anyway, Katarina, apparently, is a huge chess fan. Guess even she needs something to do when she's not hurling knives at people on the Fields. I had to study the game for a bit before I had enough confidence to challenge her. The Sinister Blade loves a competition," she said.

"But Katarina said you lost to her, and that you were 'sore' about it," he pressed.

"It did take me a few tries to beat her."

"Is that the only thing you did to persuade her?" Garen felt heat roll up into his face. "Are you sure?"

Lux sighed. "I did not cheat if that was what you're asking."

"I'm not!" Garen hissed into his collar. "Why is she implying that you two had...relations?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know. That she...enjoyed your company? Was more than professional with you? Received intimate negotiations?" Garen scowled and screwed up his face. He searched his brain for a phrase he thought he heard his soldiers used often. "Bumped monstrosities?"

Lux was silent for a moment before she began to howl in laughter. Garen gritted his teeth together. These things were hard to talk about for him! Like thinking hard. Much easier just spin and hit enemies than to articulate particular thoughts and feelings.

"Katarina likes to play games. That includes _mind_ games. Take what you hear from her with a barrel of salt," Lux said after she stopped giggling.

"Why would she do that?"

"This is the Sinister Blade we're talking about. Sadism is her pleasure." A pause. "Why couldn't you pick someone nice to fall in love with, like Irelia? Or Sona?"

"I am not in love with her!" His voice was a bit too loud. Waiters passing by gave him odd looks. "I am just captivated by her skills," he said in a much quieter one.

"...right." Lux coughed. "Anyway, you probably should head back. I'll help you out from there as long as you don't block the microphone."

He glanced down at the device. "You'll be able to hear her?"

"If you flick on the switch, yes."

"And why are you ordering me around again?"

"Because I know more about women than you do." His sister sounded smug.

Lux did hang around with a lot of attractive young women. Whenever he stayed at home, he'd often see her leave with a pretty girl or another, only to come back and say the friendship didn't work out. Or not come back for the night at all. The only boy she ever took a shine to was that Ezreal character, and even then, it seemed rather lackluster after she found out Ezreal was actually male.

"...so, you didn't have se—have se—have—so, you didn't sleep with her?"

"No, Garen. That was a lie. She's probably laughing her butt off right now. Gods, you are so gullible sometimes that I have to tail you to your own date," she said.

Garen glanced out the windows to the rooftops where Lux was hiding. It was evening, and the shadows made it hard to see her among the tiled housetops. She thought that disguising herself inside the restaurant was too obvious, and besides, the device on his collar also doubled as a device to send her images in real time and she wanted to test it out. He didn't hear her call it by name. He just heard 'more Piltoverian witchcraft'.

"What are you waiting for? Head back."

Garen grunted and made his way to his seat. True to his sister's word, his "date" looked at him and bursted out guffawing.

"You're too easy." She wiped the tears from her eyes.

Garen eyed her. "So, you didn't sleep with my sister," he remarked, causing her to break out into helpless giggles. That's twice in less than five minutes two women were laughing at his expense. He decided that a good drink was very needed.

"I already ordered," Katarina said, once she stopped laughing. "Thought that if we were going to talk, we might as well get something to eat."

Oh, right.

Garen randomly picked something from the menu and shoved it into a nearby waiter's hands. He asked for the strongest brew in the house.

"So, where were we?" He picked up his mug of Gragas' Graggy Ice. It was apparently famous enough to make its way to this city between the Demacian and Noxian borders.

Katarina eyed his drink. "You got nothing for me?"

"I thought you already ordered something for yourself."

Katarina sighed and looked away. She looked disappointed in him.

That was how the Sinister Blade ended up bumming drinks from the Demacian Vanguard for the entire night.

"You are so bad at this," Lux buzzed into his ear.

Garen gritted his teeth. He would have snapped back had it not appeared he was talking into his coat.

"Say something. Compliment her!"

Garen looked up and searched for something to talk about. His eyes locked on her hair.

"Your hair is nice. It's a different colour."

Katarina glared at him. Garen decided to shut up and nurse his drink before the Sinister Blade took it.

"Talk about her clothes. Or ask her about her day," Lux sighed. "Did you even memorize your cue cards?"

Garen ignored her. His palms felt sweaty under another bent fork. Lux had stuffed his pocket full of conversation cards in case he ran out of topics, but Katarina kept her gaze on him the entire time, making it impossible for him to reach down and discretely grab one. He decided to strike out on his own.

"So, tell me about yourself. Besides, your...profession. What do you do in your free time?"

Katarina smiled. "I wonder why you'd want to know? Could it be..." she trailed off, giving him a very suggestive look.

Garen gulped and was suddenly glad the lower half of his body was under the tablecloth. "I just want to know more about you. The Katarina behind the blades." He leaned forward, hoping to look suave. He wiggled his eyebrows.

"What's there to say? I work, I attended meetings with Swain, and I go home." Katarina shrugged. She seemed not to notice his gesture.

"What do you do in your spare time?" he asked.

Katarina smiled. "Your sister."

Garen ignored her as she broke out into laughter again. He sipped his mug with stoic dignity befitting a fine Demacian Van—

LUX, STOP LAUGHING WITH HER.

_"_Sorry, that was a pretty good line. Anyway, Katarina's just trying to agitate you, because it's fun." Lux paused. "It is pretty fun, actually_."_

...he was going to have a very thorough talk with Luxanna when all this was done and over.

"Topics...topics...talk about gender roles in Noxus. She talks a lot about the imbalance of power, according to my sources," his sister suggested.

Gender what?

"Uh..." he intelligently articulated. "What it's like being a woman?"

"...Garen..." Lux's voice had a warning tone.

Katarina stared at him. Her hand moved towards her steak knife.

He gestured wildly. "In Noxus, I mean. Isn't it ridiculous to expect only the men to rise to power while the women..."

"Are expected to stay home and bear children," Lux chimed in.

"...are expected to stay children and bear homes."

Dammit.

"While the women are expected to stay at the hearth and have children," he sighed with relief at getting the words out.

Katarina stared at him but the shift in her eyes showed him that she's seriously considering the question. "I have often wondered that myself. Why does a man far less competent than his female counterpart rise so far in Noxus while she's relegated to only gaining power through her husband or through the military? I cannot respect incompetence, and especially not privilege granted by gender alone. Men and women are not so different in their craving for power, but it's how they acquire and yield it that remains the biggest difference in their ranks."

Uh-huh. Garen nodded in rhythmic intervals. He'd found that technique useful in the past when dealing with women on long rants. Mostly Lux.

"Noxus is largely patrilineal, although scholars have found evidence that the roots of Noxian society might actually have matrilineal sources. Considering some of the protection given to women run contrary to patriarchal conventions such as property inheritance, familal protection, division of power within the household..."

Garen pushed his food around to make a happy face.

"...resulting in an odd dichotomy of power between house and work for men and women." Katarina sipped her mug. "That's a surprising question coming from you. If I hadn't known any better, I would have thought there was a brain in that thick skull of yours."

Garen aligned his final potato into a smile.

Lux commented. "I would agree that Noxus treats its women with far more contempt than its men, but I would dispute the argument about gender and power in that women understand power in an inherently different sense than men..."

Garen blinked.

Lux sighed. "Tell her she looks pretty."

Garen leaned forward with as much charm as he could muster. "Katarina, have I told you that you look beautiful tonight?"

"I do every night." Katarina shrugged off the compliment. She eyed Garen's Graggy Ice. "Are you going to finish that?"

He sighed and handed over his mug.

Lux chirped in his ear. "This is still going better than I predicted. Why don't you—wait, what's that?"

Garen was tempted to bang his head on the table. Why was this dating thing so hard?

"Uh oh, Garen, I'm going to drop out for a bit. Something's come up, but I'll take care of it. You enjoy your date." The line cut out with a soft hiss.

That certainly wasn't ominous at all. Maybe he should check up on her.

Katarina pushes her chair back and announced to herself. "I don't even remember why I agreed to be here."

On the other hand, Lux was a grown woman, and can handle herself, right?

"So, my sister is a friend of yours?" Garen said, feeling sweat bead down the back of his neck. He grabbed a nearby waiter and nearly shook him ordering more drinks.

"About as much as you are," Katarina said, taking the mugs when they arrived. She even let him have one.

Garen leaned in, feeling confident in his conversational skills. "Uh..." he intelligently said. "I wished to discuss the possibility of a potential alliance with beneficial properties, resulting in a mutual truce for the duration of its being." What.

She looked at him. "Between Noxus and Demacia?"

"Something like that," he mumbled. He was ignoring the windows behind Katarina where a giant beam of light ripped through the dark sky.

"Is that all right with your handler?" The corners of Katarina's lips twitch up. "I wouldn't think the prince would allow Might of Demacia would commit such treason behind his back?"

He twitched. "I am not—"

"I'm joking." She placed a finger on his lips to silence him. Her eyes are half-lidded with a half-smile adorning her lips. A flush coursed across her cheeks, although that might have been due to the four pints of Graggy Ice she put away. "Are you always so serious?"

Yes.

"Are you not committed to Noxus?" he mumbled behind her finger. He wished she could keep it there. "You are their pride."

Katarina frowned. "Noxus shows a lot of things. Not all of them are true." She sat back in her chair. "There's a lot of expectations to do certain things that you may not agree with. Stay silent about certain matters, obey commands no matter how stupid they are." She glanced at him. "Marry a man. Bear children."

"I can relate." Well, not the bearing children part. "There are a quite a few orders that I have reservations about, but I follow them because I trust in the wisdom of my leaders." Like Jarvan IV. And Jarvan III. And possibly Jarvan II if he was still alive.

Katarina turned her head away at his response. She looked frustrated. "Is your real reason for this meeting just to wine and dine me, so I can pop out your Demacian babies later on?"

Garen turned purple with the effort of finding a response that wasn't, "Not the babies part because I'm far too young to be a father and, really, you wined yourself—"

She sighed. "Considered yourself lucky. Usually, I wouldn't be caught dead on a date with a—"

"Demacian?"

Her eyes shifted. "Not exactly what I had in mind."

"Soldier?"

"I have no problems with them as long as they're like me in a sense." She glanced at him with something meaningful in her gaze. Garen couldn't decipher it.

He tried again. "Demacian soldier?"

She rubbed the bridge of her nose. She looked like she had a headache. "Is your sister with that Piltover brat?"

Garen racked his brain for a moment to figure out about whom she was talking. "Lux has mentioned that she has been seeing him recently. I believe he is courting her." As a proper gentleman should.

"Is she accepting the gesture?"

"Not really." Garen hadn't seen Lux be all that enthused about her ventures with the young explorer. Every time, the Vanguard pressed her about it, all she responded with was a flat, "Ezreal's nice" before abruptly changing the subject.

"She doesn't talk about him much," he shrugged. "She seems to like him as a friend though."

Katarina smiled and glanced at her nails. "It's not going to work out."

Garen's brows furrow together. "What do you mean?"

"He's not what she'd prefer if you get what I mean." At his expression, she arched an eyebrow. "You do get what I mean, right?"

"She likes Ezrael. That's why they're together so often," he insisted. "And how would you know anyway?"

Katarina smiled. "Just a feeling," she said, brushing her hair behind her shoulder. "Let's pretend that she's not 'dating' Ezrael. She doesn't have anyone else in mind, right?"

He shook his head.

"So, she'd be single," she purred.

Well, yeah. That's the idea.

"Excellent." Katarina picked up her knife and began to check her reflection with it. She smiled suggestively. "She's such a pretty thing. She won't be alone for long."

Garen stared at Katarina. "Are you planning to set her up with someone?" What would Ezreal think?

Katarina made a face at him. "You're not the pointiest spear in the armoury, are you?" She glanced out the windows, and something she saw caused her to curse. "Excuse me."

The look on her face seemed odd. Garen prepared to follow her when someone else falls into the seat across from him. Someone male. And Noxian. And male.

"Is this for me?" Draven batted his eyes at him. He pulled the Vanguard's drink towards him. "Well, doesn't Draven feel appreciated?" He laughed and finished off the brew in a gulp.

Garen stared in horror at the executioner across from him.

"What in Jarvan's name are you doing here?" he hissed, readying the fork in his hand in case he needed it.

"Why, simply making sure that Katarina isn't walking into a trap. Draven cares for all of his minions." The Noxian axeman smoothed back his hair.

"I don't know what kind of bribe you're offering her, but why else would she meet you here so far from home?" Draven's tone became sharp, hard. Something feral came into his eyes. "An ugly man nowhere near Draven's levels of looks." He stroked his moustache. "Very unattractive indeed."

Garen took a breath. "If I'm ugly, guess that means you're even worse since Katarina's here with me, not you."

"Katarina is confused. She doesn't know a good man when she sees one, which is why Draven is here to convince her otherwise." Draven glared. "Noxian women belong to Noxian men."

Garen's eyebrow twitched. The executioner has travelled hundreds of miles solely to crash and steal the Vanguard's date. Clearly, there was only one way to deal with this.

Politely.

Garen pulled a waiter aside. "Excuse me, this nonpaying man seems confused as to which table he's sitting at. Could you please escort him to where he's welcomed?"

The waiter turned, his large frame and huge muscles making Garen seem scrawny by comparison. "Sure thing, boss."

Draven flew amazingly well when flung by someone over seven feet tall, Garen noted. He watched the Noxian hit the opposite wall with a satisfying crack before dropping into a garbage heap with a groan.

"Thank you." The Vanguard slipped a large tip into the waiter's hand and turn to make his way to his table. Katarina had still not come back. He sat down and waited through four more drinks before realizing that she might have ditched him.

"Are you looking for your woman?" The huge waiter came up to him. "She slipped out the back a little while ago. It looks like you're stuck with this." He slid the bill over to Garen. His eyes were sympathetic. "Some aren't worth the trouble."

Garen grunted and took out his wallet. The night was a bust. He was going to have a very severe talk with Luxanna about trying to play matchmaker later on.

He wrapped himself up and exited the restaurant when a very familiar woman slipped from the shadows to fall in line with him.

"Sorry, something came up." Katarina sounded breathless. Her hair was messed up, and her clothes were rumpled. Her eyes glittered with something close to excitement. They shifted when she took note of his clothes. "Did you already pay the bill?"

"Someone had to." He yanked his collar closer to himself.

Katarina frowned. She looked down as if deliberating something before reaching into her pocket and dropping some coins into his hands. "Here. This is for my portion."

Garen's good breeding instincts kicked in without his consent.

"I got this one. I certainly don't need—" He looked at the money. His eyes bulged. Katarina had given him enough coin to live in Demacia for a week. How much did this woman have?

"I invest well." Katarina shrugged. "Noxian women take care of themselves." She turned to leave.

"Wait!" Garen pushed her money back into her hands. "I won't accept this tonight. If you would like to argue with me over this, perhaps another meeting is in order? Maybe next week?" He ignored the way his voice shook with the last few words. "Same time, same place?"

Katarina stared at him.

Not knowing what to do, Garen stared back.

There was a long silence in the air.

Garen began to wonder how to excuse himself without blubbering when the assassin broke into a smile. It lit up her face and made all her features seem softer, gentler. It reminded him of why he thought the Sinister Blade was so breath-taking in the first place.

"If you bring your sister again next time, then sure." Katarina shot him a sly smile before disappearing in a cloud of smoke.

Garen let a silly grin slip onto his face, despite being confused about the last part. What about Lux? Oh right, wasn't she fighting someone?

He went around to the side of the building and saw Darius lying in trash heap nearby, groaning and holding his head. Knives jutted out from his armour, and there was a boot mark on his face. His axe was glimmering with the remnants of light magic and was neatly folded in half.

Garen shrugged and climbed the ladder. He'd seen odder sights tonight.

Lux sat on the rooftop, her device headgear hanging down her front. She stared out with a dazed look on her face.

"Are you all right?" Garen ambled up to her. He coughed delicately and turned away when he noticed that her blouse had been misbuttoned. "Lux?"

The Demacian girl jolted out of her reverie. "I'm all right." She jumped up. She smoothed out her wrinkled skirt and messy hair. "Darius tried to crash your date for some reason, but I stopped him."

"Draven did as well, but he's no longer a threat."

Lux frowned. "I must have missed him when I was being...distracted." She was quiet for a long moment. "I don't think you should see Katarina any more. I was wrong about her preferences," she added quickly. "Very wrong."

Garen raised an eyebrow. "But she already agreed to see me next week."

Lux reeled back, her eyes wide. "She did? But she just—" She shook her head. "I don't understand."

Garen frowned. "Well, she invited you too if that helps your understanding of her." Certainly, didn't help his.

Lux bit her lip. "Mind games," she muttered under her breath.

The Demacian Vanguard laid a gentle hand on his sister's shoulder. "Are you afraid that I won't have time for you now that I'm dating? Lay your fears to rest, as that will never be the case."

"That's not it!" Lux hissed, hopping back from his touch. "Trust me, her taste in people does not complement yours." She ran a hand through her mussed up hair. "Uh...in fact, it would be bad for you if you were to continue this."

Something was wrong. Lux was out of breath, and her clothes were very rumpled. Her cheeks were flushed, and she had recently encountered a Noxian that made her ramble about not seeing Katarina when she had been the one who suggested it. Darius was lying at the bottom of the building, and Lux looked at rumpled as Katarina did.

Garen put two and two together.

"Were you doing something with Darius?

"Something related to 'relations'?" Garen's face turned stern. "Noxians are not our friends. They are our enemies, not people to associate wi—" He cuts himself off, aware of the hypocrisy of his words. He thought hard about his next ones. "You could do better than him." Poor Ezrael will be crushed if he hears about this.

Lux looked away. "Uh-huh." She tugged at her disheveled blouse.

Garen slapped his arm around her shoulders. "Anyway, we won't talk more about this tonight. Help me next week again with my date? I would appreciate the aid."

"Brother, I love you, but dear gods, you hurt my head at times."

Garen furrowed his brows. Was that a yes, then? "I know you're still uneasy about the thought of me dating, but I know you will get used to it in time."

Lux looked like she wanted to scream.

Garen kissed her forehead, knowing that she'd come around to the idea eventually.

What could possibly go wrong?

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**Author's Endnote:** Thanks for reading.


	2. Lux: Post Date

**Author's Notes**: Hey all, first off, thank you for sticking with this story so far and reading it. I just wanted to say that I had quite a bit of trouble deciding where this story will go. Once I did know where I wanted to take it, I realized it's going to drastically veer off in a different direction than the one the first chapter has set up. If that's all right with you, please continue reading. If not, please feel free to leave at any time.

Anyway, back to the story. Special thanks to Cinis and Druzhnik for beta-reading. Cheers.

* * *

Lux spent the last fews days trying to spell out the obvious for her brother.

She attempted euphemisms, charts, pictures, and when all else failed, she even attempted graphic hand gestures since that seemed to work for Katarina. Garen merely laughed at her hand movements and gave her a cookie. He thought it was a puppet show.

The light mage was growing frustrated. How many ways could she insinuate that dating Katarina was a bad idea before something clicked in Garen? She decided that the direct way would have to do which was why she was fiddling with her drink outside Morgana's cafe.

A few other League champions sat in the patio area, far away enough from her that all she could hear were murmurs. The Radiant Dawn waved to her when Lux caught her eye. Her companion nodded in turn, sunlight gleaming off of his circular shield.

The cafe was small but known by the champions and summoners as a place to get a meal in peace without being disturbed by fights among different city-states. Or even the same one.

This morning, Lux watched Katarina kick Draven in the face when he approached her, lips puckered up, in the Great Hall. Sion had laughed, which resulted in Darius punching him in the jaw. Urgot hit Darius to defend his friend while Sion got up and flipped over their table. The three began to brawl while Olaf ran from the Freljordian end of the hall to jump into the fight for the fun of it, and Kayle attempted to break things up but was hit by a stun from Sion and knocked down. Demacia jumped to Kayle's defence, and Piltover did as well with Jinx shooting Vi in the thigh because she could.

Lux had wisely snuck out before the summoners came down from their meeting upstairs. She hazarded a look back before the doors to see where the Noxian assassin had gone to but could not spot her in the mess of limbs, splintered furniture, and spells bouncing back and forth.

She thought that Katarina had glanced her way during the fight, and the mage felt her heart beat a little faster. From fear, of course. Complete and absolute terror. Lux did not want to make the relationship dynamic between Katarina and her brother more complicated than it already was.

She fled from the hall, stopping only to call her brother to breakfast through the nearest Spinning Wire. She didn't have to ask twice when she said it involved the Sinister Blade.

Stirring her drink agitatedly, Lux started to run a hand through her hair. She had no idea where she stood with Sinister Blade now, as that odd meeting on the rooftop was enough to steal her breath away. Mostly because she had been running away from Darius in the first place.

The mage may have been a bit trigger happy when she spotted the armoured man crawling onto the roof she was sitting on. Like, giant laser trigger happy. And by a bit, she meant she was trying to obliterate him to kingdom-come. Somehow that brute of man managed to dodge her attack and dangle by the roof ledge, even when Lux had blown off a chunk of the apartment over to get him away from her. Darius didn't look pleased when he finally hauled himself to his feet, and really, Lux couldn't blame him although she could certainly run away from him. She had tumbled away from an axe blow that tore a hunk out of the rooftop's tiling and was fumbling with the microphone linked in her headgear when Katarina vaulted onto the roof. Then onto Darius's head.

Lux threw out a snare spell, but the assassin finished off her Death Lotus with a kick to the head and one to the face. Darius tumbled backwards off the roof, clutching his axe behind him. Lux peered over the edge to check if he was dead when Katarina yanked her up by the arm and looked at her. Then, she shoved Lux up against a chimney, pressed their bodies tightly together, leaned forward, and...

Lux coughed, and she had to cover her mouth to smother her laughter. The Sinister Blade had been either drunk or nervous. Most likely both. The way she wove around Darius' attacks and knocked him off the roof implied that she was perfectly in control of her movements. The way she moved in and kissed the bricks when Lux ducked suggested otherwise. To say that Lux was shocked at the turn of events was an understatement. To say that she freaked out when Katarina did managed to pin her down and kiss her was even worse because...

She tugged at her collar, feeling flustered. She thought it was too early in the morning to feel this hot.

"Luxanna!"

She looked up to see her brother racing towards her. Garen stopped in front of her, gleaming in his set of gold and blue armour. He glanced at her drink and half-finished plate of salad and soup. "Fight in the Hall again?"

Lux sighed. "When are the summoners going to realize that putting all the champions in one place to eat is not a good idea? You can't even cross the streets here without getting into a fight."

Garen shrugged and sat down. "About the same time, they'll realize having the same bathrooms for all city-states is a bad idea." The summoners were not known for being too particularly attentive to the practical, people aspects of architecture design. "Anyway, that's not what we were meeting to discuss."

He sat down. He fiddled with his fingers before turning and coughing. A long drawn-out, three seconds occurred before he glanced to either side of him and leaned forward eagerly. "Have you heard from her?"

Lux winced. She hadn't since that night. It didn't matter to her. Really.

"Brother, you need to drop this. Katarina's not good for you."

The Vanguard's eyebrows came down in a furrow. "Because she's a Noxian? That's awfully narrow-minded of you, Lux."

What. "I was the one who convinced you to go on the date in the first pla—'"

Garen cut her off with a wave. "Details, details. The important thing is I'm going on a second date with Katarina in a few days, and I could really use your help again."

Lux's eyebrow twitched. "No, you're not."

"I believe I am."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"Yes."

"Ha! Can't trick me that easily. Yes." Garen slapped his meaty palm on the table, looking pleased. "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me seven times—"

"I'll be straightforward." Lux sighed. She didn't want to do this. "Katarina likes women."

Garen nodded. "Understandable. I like women too."

"Not like—yes! Exactly like how you like them."

"Good. We have more in common."

Lux peered at her brother suspiciously. "Garen, do you understand what I mean?"

He frowned. "Katarina likes women like how I like women, like how you like women, like Jarvan likes women, and Quinn and Shyvana."

That's not—Quinn and Shyvana?

He spread his hands out. "Like how we all like women unless we're misogynists. Or so the speaker at the gender equality seminar Jarvan sent me to said."

Lux twitched the other eyebrow. "That's not what I meant. Also, that's not right. Technically—" She took a look at her brother's face and decided to pick her fights. "I mean she's attracted to women."

"As companions."

"Yes. No." Dammit, Garen. "Attracted se—attracted se-se—" Great, she was starting to sound like him. "Attracted as in wanting to go to bed with them."

"As companions."

Lux considered letting him go on that doomed date with Katarina.

She spoke slowly. "As in relations."

There was a long pause from Garen.

"Oh_._"

The Vanguard's eyes went wide. He clutched at his mug like it was the only thing that made sense. "But why would she go out with me? Unless...she wants relations with me as well." His voice squeaked on the last part.

"Or to play with your head," Lux sighed. "The Sinister Blade is not known for her kindness."

"That can't be it. Your information has to be incorrect."

Lux stiffened at the accusation. As a professional spy, she found that comment insulting. Partially because she's starting to wonder the same herself.

Her research through military reports of multiple city factions suggested Katarina has only shown overt interest in men with copious amounts of eyebrow-raising flirtations with Garen. She did find the occasional odd rumour about her and a female associate every now and then, but with the amount of disturbing assertions by opposing officers both within and outside Noxus, the light mage had discarded that bit of information as relatively harmless slander.

Boy, had she been wrong.

The light bearer picked at her sleeve. "Garen, I know you've had a crush on her for ages, but you have to face the fact that, sometimes, these things don't work out. Maybe someone else would take your mind off of her. Lulu is single."

"This can't be right. I—" He stared at his hands helplessly. A glimmer of something dark comes into his eyes and when he looked at her, it was not kindly. "Or perhaps, you have a reason to convince me so."

Lux stopped breathing for a moment. She thought of Katarina's body pressing against her own. "I would never lie to you, brother."

He studied her, his expression hard. "You've expressed reservations about me dating Katarina before. Because you're afraid of losing my love for you."

...sure, let's go with that.

Garen shook his head. "Yet, you have never told me an untruth, so I—" He stood up. "I need to ask Katarina herself."

"No!" hissed Lux, who jumped to her feet. "Garen, that'll just lead to an awkward situation and—"

The edges of her vision faded into blue streaks as Garen began to speak, but his words came out faded and distorted. Lux stared at him before noticing the wisps of light rising from her body.

She was being summoned. Crap.

"We'll talk later in my room, all right?" She paused. "And don't kick down my door this time!" she managed to get out before her vision folded in and Garen was swept away by the dark.

Lux waited. She hated this part because it was the same as she died on the Fields. The same feeling of coldness, of something more than just the absence of light. A heartbeat later, and she was standing on the stone platforms of Summoner's Rift, sunlight high overhead like it had always been there. Lux found her palms sweating and heartbeat pounding after that summoning. She never really got used to it.

"Are you all right?"

A cool hand touched her arm. Lux turned to see the Queen of Freljord looking back with concern in her eyes. Karthus stood behind her, sneering while the Exile stood off to the side, not looking at anyone and frowning at her sword.

Lux bowed her head slightly. "I am all right. Thank you for your concern, ruler of Freljord—"

The Frost Archer waved her off. "No needs for formalities. We are all on the same team today."

Lux smiled. She opened her mouth to say something else when she was shoved aside as something large and shaggy made its way to the shop. She heard a muttered, "Unfortunately" from Ashe's lips.

"Are you done? All this sentiment is making me ill," Warwick sneered, his muzzle already stained with something dark. He appeared to have been summoned while eating. "Lest you forget, we still have a fight ahead of us. If you bring us down, the match will be the least of your worries."

His eyes seemed to bore through her, measuring her up for a purpose Lux was sure she didn't want to know about.

Lux politely took a step away as he brushed past her this time. He stopped when he saw the Noxian swordswoman nearby and scoffed. "Riven of Noxus?"

Riven didn't answer. She seemed to be completely focused on her sword.

"I heard what the others are calling you, _Exile_. Du Couteau would have been ashamed that he let you into his manor if he still was around."

"And you, Warwick? Still making 'deliveries'?" Riven looked up at last, her eyes harsh like glare of an angry sunset. "You're still no better a man than you were a decade ago."

"Little girl, be glad that Du Couteau stopped me from having you like I intended to all those years ago." Warwick grinned, his white teeth seeming unnaturally large in the light. "Although I heard he didn't stop his daughters. Or was it just the one?"

Riven's grip tightened on her hilt. "I will be the one to end you. On or off the fields."

"Try if you can. You're not the only one who's changed." Warwick laughed, a thick, feral sound that made the hairs on the Lux's nape jump to attention. "Let's see if all that wandering made you soft."

He dove into the jungle, still laughing while Riven gripped her sword and ran to her lane.

Lux looked back to see if the other two noticed the exchange. Karthus was examining his book and muttering something under his breath while the Frost Archer gave the light bearer a nod before heading to her own path. Lux turned to Riven's lane, wondering about the connection she had with Warwick and the Du Couteau house. Putting that away for future investigation, she ran out down the well-trod path to her own tower, waiting for the minions to come.

The match went quicker than she expected. The other team had surrendered after Warwick kept tearing through their flanks, and Riven through their top lane. The light bearer felt shudders run down her skin every time she shielded Warwick but at the risk of being disemboweled by the Grand Duelist again, decided between the lesser of two evils at the moment.

Lux had been watching Riven in the fights, and the swordswoman had been fast. Very fast. Like decapitating-the-Grand-Duelist-before-Fiora-finished-mocking-her fast. And so focused. Without pausing from the duelist's death, Riven spun around to cleave Nunu nearly in two before switching directions and slamming her blade on top of Vi's head. No hesitation, pause, or change in expression on her face. The Exile had sliced out combo after combo, sending the enemy team scrambling for the safety of their towers where Warwick dove for the weakened survivors.

It was a short match.

The Frost Archer came up to her afterwards, holding her bloodied cloak to herself. "You fight well. I hope that we will be paired again in the future." She nodded to Lux and walked off the platform as the Exile came up to Lux. Riven frowned, opened her mouth to say something then frowned again.

"You need to concentrate more," the swordswoman commented at last.

Lux raised an eyebrow. She'd had the highest body count in the match after Warwick. Inadvertently because Vi thought charging her under the tower was a good idea. Several times.

"Thank you for the advice, Exile, but as you saw, I did quite fine."

"But you weren't fine at one point." Riven gestured to the blood stain on Lux's shirt where the Grand Duelist decided that the light bearer's insides would look better on the outside.

Lux shrugged. "A mistake on my part. It didn't happen again."

Riven was quiet. Her brow wrinkled in contemplation. "Why were you watching me the whole fight?"

Lux was taken back, though she quickly composed herself. "You fight very well. I was wondering as to what kind of training you went through to acquire your skills."

The Exile's face twisted into a curious expression of pain. "That doesn't matter anymore." She turned and walked off, her broken sword lying against her shoulder, shielding her face from view.

Lux arched an eyebrow after the retreating girl. She wasn't sure why Riven was trying to talk to her, but that conversation piqued her curiosity. While the Exile had been known to be taciturn, it seemed like the other girl was trying to communicate something to Lux though what was unknown. The way her brows furrowed together reminded Lux of watching Garen trying to charm women.

Speaking of which, she needed to head back to talk him out of doing something incredibly stupid with Katarina. A younger sibling's duties never ends, unfortunately.

Lux stepped onto the summoner's platform to be transported back to her room. The feeling of compression, like every part of her being was stretched out into infinity then squeezed into a tiny, heavy mass, made her feel ill and had the light mage throw up the first few times she was summoned. Not that anyone knew about that. Lux made sure to discretely vomit into the bushes when she made her way to her lane.

The queasiness of transportation caused Lux to stumble when she felt hard ground under her feet, opening her eyes to the sight of her assigned room. And Katarina.

And Katarina on her bed.

Lux blinked slowly, making sure she wasn't seeing a hallucination as the the Noxian assassin leaned back on her hands, giving the light mage a slow look-over. Or tried to. It's hard to look sexy with a scowl that could peel flesh from bones.

"What are you doing here, Sinister Blade?" Lux backed towards the open window, keeping her wand in front of her. She had no idea why she was here, but she didn't want to take any chances. Also, her body was remembering Katarina too, and it really wasn't helping.

The red-haired woman tossed her head back. "Is that how Demacians greet guests?"

"Guests are invited." Lux wondered if she'll die today. Or worse. "And they announce the purpose of their arrival."

Katarina leaned back on her hands. "You look like shit."

"How kind of you to notice," Lux snapped before she remembered who she was talking to. "What do you want from me?"

Katarina frowned. She sighed and glanced over to Lux's closet. "And here I thought we could have a pleasant chat. Back to business then." Katarina rose from the bed, her green eyes rising sharply to meet Lux's.

Lux took a few steps back as Katarina approached her. Her muscles tensed with the tingling of magic awakening on her skin. If she had to, she could snare the assassin for a few seconds, but she would have to then either quickly leap out the window and face three stories or make a mad dash down the hall, hollering her head off. She was considering the jump.

A smile flitted its way onto Katarina's face. "You can come closer. Our talk isn't going to be that painful."

"If you're looking for Garen, he's on the other side of the wing."

Katarina's smile dropped from her face. "And why would I want to see him?"

"To talk about your next date, surely." Lux inched her way towards the window. "Have you thought about what to wear? I heard that Freljordian bear skin is in this season," she babbled, hoping to distract Katarina long enough to jump.

Lux glanced at the window before a dagger whizzed by her face to hit the latch, sending the window crashing down on the sill and blocking her way out. Katarina disappeared in a puff of smoke and Lux was spun around and slammed against the wall before she could blink.

"I think you need a reminder of what catches my attention." Katarina whispered in her ear, hot breath tickling the skin. Her body pressed against Lux's tightly, and she ran a hand slowly up the mage's side to her face.

Lux looked away as much as she could, trying not to hyperventilate. Despite everything else, Katarina was a remarkably attractive woman and the light mage kept finding her gaze being drawn back to her well-proportioned lips, her intense eyes, the slope of her nose, the line of her jaw. She started to wonder if what Garen had for the Noxian assassin was contagious.

"I'm over here." Katarina pulled Lux's face towards her. Her eyes traced over every feature and line in the mage's face. Lux realized they had flecks of gold, making them beautiful to look at. The revelation didn't make her feel any more at ease.

"What do you want from me, Sinister Blade?'

"I wonder." Katarina placed a hand on Lux's hip.

Lux tried to remember how to breathe. "Were you looking for directions to my brother's room?"

"For fuck's sake." Katarina glared.

Lux stared back.

There was a very awkward and prolonged pause between them.

Katarina scowled. "This was much easier when I was drunk."

Lux opened her mouth to say something when there was the sound of something being bumped in her closet followed by low profuse swearing.

Katarina hissed in frustration. The person in the closet hissed back. There was a jingle of coat-hangers falling to the ground.

"Is...is someone here with you?" Lux glanced over to the wooden door that guarded her clothes.

There was the sound of boxes being knocked over and shoes falling out. "Dammit." The voice had an odd sibilant quality. "It should be you in here." A pause. "Oh wait, you already are."

"Fuck you, I told you I could do this myself," Katarina snarled, taking her eyes off of Lux while the light mage seized her opportunity to escape by swinging her baton into the assassin's temple.

Or at least that was the plan until Katarina caught the rod easily in one hand while arguing with the unseen accomplice.

"...not all of us are whorish enough to seduce our way through a conversation." Katarina's tone was pointed.

"Not like you could," the voice shot back. "You have as much charm as Talon's jock strap."

"Bitch. Come out here and say that to my face."

"I would, but there's all these goddamn boxes in my way." There was a spraying sound and an odd purple mist began to rise from the bottom of the door. "And now there's not," the voice announced smugly.

Lux turned her head. Was that...?

"Look, let's just pick up where we left off by the chimney, all right?" Katarina leaned in.

Lux dodged the kiss. "Why did you agree to a second date with my brother when you clearly aren't into him?"

Katarina looked puzzled. "I did?"

"...you didn't?"

"I don't remember that." Katarina rubbed the bridge of her nose. "But I don't recall much of that night other than..." She glanced over Lux's body. She shrugged. "I had a lot to drink."

"You did say yes," the mage insisted. She even had audio evidence to prove it. "You told him same time, same place in a few days."

"Well, someone's going to be disappointed when I don't show up."

Lux opened her mouth to argue then closed it. Katarina did not want to go on the second date with her brother, and nothing will come of it. Wasn't this turn of events what she thought best in the first place? Why did she feel so terrible about it?

"You need to tell him you're not interested, otherwise it's just cruel to..." Lux was distracted by Katarina running her hands up and down the mage's arms.

"And when have I been afraid of being cruel?"

Lux glared. She put all her Demacian fury into it.

The assassin frowned. "Does this matter so much to you?"

"Would you not do the same for your sibling?"

A muffled "No," came from the closet to which Katarina directed a string of Bilgewater-inspired curses. She turned back to Lux. "Fine, I'll tell him whenever. Let's just get back to—"

Someone knocked at the door. "Lux, I heard you finish your match. Can we continue the conversation from this morning?"

Katarina froze, her mouth open.

Lux heard the jiggling from her doorknob being tried before remembering her brother's tendencies. "Don't—"

BAM.

The hinges blew off of her doorframe. Garen wandered in with a shrug. "I hate waiting." He stopped and stared at them. "What's going on?"

Katarina darted back a few steps from Lux. "I was just talking to your sister. About her match." Her tone was nonchalant. There was a facial tic in her forehead.

Lux heard an impatient sigh from the closet and a muttered, "Coward". Katarina ignored it.

Garen's eyes flitted between the Noxian and her. "Is that all?"

Katarina crossed her arms. "Yup." She hissed at the elbow in her ribs from Lux. "Fine. Listen, Garen. There's not going to be a second date. It's not going to work out."

Garen reeled his head back as if he'd been slapped. His eyes darted between the two women before narrowing at his sister. "I know you don't like me dating, Lux, but this is getting ridiculous."

Lux sighed. She felt like crying.

"Did she set you up to this?" Garen took a step forward.

Katarina glanced at the shorter girl. "...no."

Garen glared at Lux. "How far with this charade are you going to go? Roping in poor, innocent, sweet Katarina with you?"

None of the adjectives described the Sinister Blade in the least. "For Jarvan's sake, Garen, why don't you just ask her yourself?"

Garen looked at his sister then at the assassin. "If you must continue with this." The Might of Demacia stood his ground but something in his eyes trembled. He hesitated for a long moment. "Katarina, is it true that you like women? As in relations?"

The Noxian arched an eyebrow. "What?"

"As in..." Garen put his hands together and tried to make some gestures of a kind.

Katarina squinted at his movements. "Is that a donkey?"

Garen turned a lovely shade of mauve. "N-no, it's supposed to be—"

"Knock, knock." A voice came from her doorway. Lux turned her head to see the Glorious Executioner saunter into her room. "I just came by because I saw your door was open and—" He pivoted and slammed Garen into the wall, his hand tight on the Vanguard's throat. "—what the fuck did I tell you about leaving our women alone?"

"The hell are you doing?" Katarina hit the executioner's arm away, letting Garen slide to the floor, gasping.

"Like I said, I'm the man for you. And I'll prove it too by murdering this guy." Draven wiggled his eyebrows. "Just a little ol' fashioned Noxian courtship."

"What the fuck about 'I'm not interested in you' do you not understand?"

Draven had a blank look on his face.

"Babe, you are just confused. It's easy to do that when you're stunned by Draven's good looks." The executioner stroked his moustache. He made great pains to avoid the boot-shaped bruise on his left cheek.

Katarina's hand twitched towards her knives. "If you say one more word, I will—"

"You'll what, Sinister Blade?" A rough bass voice came from her doorway as Darius squeezed himself into the room. He sneered at Lux. "I haven't repaid the favour you so kindly gave me a few nights ago."

"Why the fuck are you guys even wandering the Demacian's wing?" Katarina looked like she wanted to stab someone. Someone that started with D. She didn't look like she was picky about the letters after.

Draven spun around with his hands up. "To protect your Noxian chastity, m'lady."

Darius shrugged and pointed at his brother. "He's an idiot. I have to watch him."

Fair enough.

"Now, we can all have a perfectly calm conversation about what's going on," Lux said slowly, careful not to make any sudden motions. "How about we take this outside to the hall—" where her room certainly wasn't located, "—so we can avoid any unnecessary confrontations?"

"Luxanna, have you seen your brother?" A voice echoed down the hall, deep and authoritative. It was one she had heard many times in the Demacia courts and on the Fields herself, usually as the owner crashed into the enemy team in an explosion of earthen walls. Darius' grip on his axe tightened while Darius and Katarina instinctively reached for their weapons.

This would not go well.

Jarvan IV and Shyvana peered into her room. "I just need to go over some field reports—" The Demacian prince locked eyes with Darius and stopped.

Darius and Draven looked at them. Garen got to his feet and pulled out his sword. Katarina swore and drew her blades while Cassiopeia fell out of the closet after the door disintegrated from the emanating mist. She brushed herself off and slithered behind her sister, claws out.

Why couldn't Lux go anywhere without a fight breaking out?

"Let's calm down. I'm sure there's a perfectly logical explanation for all this," Shyvana said slowly. Tendrils of fire started to flick around her head

"You Demacians can't go anywhere without attempting to take over, can you? Both on the Fields and on helpless citizens, and you have the audacity to claim it was in the name of justice," Darius sneered.

Jarvan's eyes narrowed. "What would a general of Noxus know of justice? You would kill your own people to establish a foothold in a peaceful city-state and claim it was for the people's sake. Unlike Noxus, Demacia brings order and justice to all those who submit to her laws."

"Tell that to the Noxian civilians you slaughtered on your last push through our lands before the League treaty. 'Spare no one'." Darius hefted his axe. "Weren't those your own words, princeling? I was there."

Jarvan's jaw tightened but his eyes flitted away for a moment. "I don't answer to you, Noxian."

"That's the problem. In Noxus, we all know who we are. We don't play at pretending at being better than humans." Darius' face contorted into something ugly and hollowed with shadows. "We don't play at being gods."

This was bad. Lux could suffocate herself on the tension filling the room with harsh, rapid breathing coming from all occupants. Shyvana was twitching, flames licking at her fingers while Jarvan shifted under the weight of his flagpole. The Noxians were growing tense, their expressions twisting into something animalistic and dangerous.

Lux could only hold her breath and hoped no one did so much as sneeze.

Which Draven did.

He raised his hand to cover his mouth, and Shyvana blasted a bolt of fire his way at the motion. Darius dove in front of his brother and was knocked through a neighbouring wall. The Maven of the Strings glared at them through the Darius-shaped hole and glided in, her etwahl screeching out furious chords.

Lux threw out a snare, rooting Cassiopeia and Jarvan to the floor while Draven wrestled with Garen on the ground, their weapons forgotten. Darius got up and staggered back into the fight, only to stumble back after a screeching attack of Sona's playing. Shyvana attempted to fry a portion of Katarina's head while the assassin nimbly spun around the dragon's assault and planted a line of daggers in her back. One managed to penetrate the armour if Shyvana's howl of pain was any indication.

Lux thought Shyvana might have transformed at this point after deciding that fighting in human form was for chumps. She wasn't sure as the next moment she knew, she was flying out her window in an explosion of fire.

The light bearer was stunned, but the fall did not terrify her since she knew spells to slow her descent. The fact that someone was walking underneath her did.

Riven looked up during her stroll and instinctively dashed backwards to the safety of the nearby trees. Then, she realized a pretty girl was falling from several floors up and rushed back in. Lux had already casted a spell to create more air resistance, but it didn't seem to faze Riven who leapt up and neatly caught the Demacian girl in her arms.

"Why were you falling from the third floor?" Riven asked when they landed. She paused. "Also, are you all right?"

Lux glanced up into Riven's eyes. She opened her mouth to answer when another blast from her room blew out a wall of the building, and both of them had to hastily retreat from the falling mortar. And people. Unfortunately, they did not have their own Riven to catch them.

Lux looked at the chunks of her apartment were raining down on them, ignoring the groaning Draven who landed in the bushes nearby. She glanced up to see a dragon bursting through the concrete ceiling, tearing apart the roof with angry swipes of its claw while a tiny figure appears to be stabbing it furiously on the back of its neck. "This is the third time this has happened."

Riven looked startled. "That a fight has broken out?"

"That I have to move apartments since I came here." Lux rubbed her forehead. The paperwork for a new place was always excruciatingly tedious. Lux was pretty sure the summoners made the forms time-consuming just to punish the champions who frequently were involved in property destruction. She swept her arm out to indicate the fiery debris in front of them. "_This_ happens all the time."

Riven nodded. "There was one in the Hall this morning."

Yes. Started by the same people who started this one. Dammit, Noxians.

Lux rubbed the bridge of her nose and sighed. "Do you want to go get something to eat instead of standing here?"

"But what about your place?"

Lux looked at her former apartment, the plume of black smoke rising from the fire still licking away at the upper floor. Shyvana had flown down to the ground and transformed back to human form where she stood gaping in horror at her handiwork. A smoking Jarven, Sona, Garen, and unconscious Darius were by her side. Katarina and Cassiopeia were nowhere near to be found. People gathered around the base, having flocked to and flown from the building in various states of dress with Quinn shivering at the chill in her towel and shower cap while Valor squawked in indignation. The summoners began to arrive, shooing people and former occupants from the burning building while adorning their fire-fighting suits and water magic wands.

Lux shrugged. "It's not going anywhere."

Riven eyed her cautiously. She shook her head and opened her mouth to reply when her stomach gurgled loudly. "...on second thought, I will accept your offer."

Lux smiled as a thought occurred to her. "Great. I know just the place to grab a quiet bite. You can tell me about yourself and what growing up in Noxus was like," she said, recalling Warwick's conversation with the Exile earlier. She latched onto Riven's arm and gave the startled swordswoman her brightest smile.

Something had to come out of this, right?

* * *

**Author's Endnotes:** Thanks for reading. Any comments and constructive criticism are welcomed.


	3. Cassiopeia: Interlude

**Author's Notes: **CONTINUED.

Thank you to Cinis and Druzhnik for beta-reading as always, and catching all the errors I was too lazy to catch myself.

* * *

Cassiopeia glared at her sister in the hallway of her apartment. "You had one job."

Katarina hissed, tearing off her smoking jacket and throwing it to the floor. "I didn't expect the Demacians to-"

"ONE job: ask her out or fuck her."

Really, either would have been fine with Cassiopeia. She had prepared tips to be discretely whispered in case her sister got stuck. "Instead, you pick a fight with everyone else in the room."

"Fuck you."

"No, fuck Lux. That was the plan." She had outlined the manoeuvres clearly: step one, charm the Demacian to bed; step two, something happens, improvise here; step three, profit. How could anyone mess that up?

"I need a drink." Or seven. She slithered to her wine collection on the far end of the room. The burnt scales on her sides were starting to chafe, and she wouldn't be able to molt for another week or so. Once she did, the skin was going right into Katarina's bed while she was sleeping. "Really, it's not that hard, sister. All you have to do is charm her and talk her into doing something you both really want to do."

"Not all of us have the glamour to charm people into our beds," Katarina shot back.

For fuck's sakes.

"It's called basic people skills, you twat." Cassiopeia opened another bottle of wine. "She was pretty much willing. All you had to do was push." She pulled out a glass, looked at it, tossed it over her shoulder, and drank straight from the bottle. "When was the last time you've been with anyone?"

Katarina clenched her teeth and turned away.

There was a loud knock at the door. Katarina stormed over to open it, and Talon stepped in, quickly closing it behind him. "I heard there was a fire at the Demacian quarters."

"And you think we had something to do with it?" Katarina smoothed back her singed hair.

He glared at them. "Why were you even in their wing in the first place?"

Cassiopeia took a sip and drank half of her bottle. "Katarina's trying to fuck that Demacian bitch."

Talon looked at her. "Which one?"

"The uppity one."

"...which one?"

Cassiopeia struck a pose, whirling an imaginary baton. She squealed in a high pitched voice. "DEMACI—"

She took a step to the left as Katarina's blade whistled by her head and sliced her lamp in half.

"Fuck you!" Katarina stomped towards the door. She whirled around. "And stay out of my business."

Talon stepped aside as a knife pierced through another lamp. Goddamn it, giant heat lamps did not come cheap.

The door slammed, and Cassiopeia pulled out another bottle. "Sister is going to get billed for those."

Talon sat down on a chair nearby. He scowled. "Why does Katarina want to sleep with that Demacian wench?"

Cassiopeia shrugged. "Because I said she couldn't get laid."

"What?"

[Typical flashback about a week ago]

Cassiopeia almost gagged on her drink. Katarina was shovelling plates of food in her mouth, and after she had finished three dishes of some kind of meat goulash, she yanked open the boxes of sweets by her side and recommenced her disgusting eating habits. Really, did she take nothing from Mother's lessons on table etiquette?

"Here," Cassiopeia tossed a napkin towards her sister, wrinkling her nose. Katarina needed to slow down before she choked, since Cassiopeia had no plans to do the Heimlich manoeuvre. Also, because saving people from death was not Du Couteaus do.

Katarina nodded and proceeded to demolish her box of eclairs.

Cassiopeia gritted her teeth and tapped her fingers rapidly along the table. She hated watching Katarina eat. One because it was revolting, and two, she had just discovered that she gained four pounds and was now killing herself eating this stupid, wimpy salad while her sister was bolting down pastries. She finally lost it when a sweet, pale cream oozed out of a glazed pastry, squirting down Katarina's chin and fingers.

"Stop eating! You make that golem look civilized!" She gestured over to where Malphite was trying to figure out how to not crush a teacup while drinking tea with Caitlyn nodding in encouragement and Vi napping in her chair.

"No wonder you can't attract anyone with the way you're eating."

Katarina glared at her. "I'm not fat if that's what you're implying.

Cassiopeia eyed her sister's slim belly enviously. No, Katarina had never been fat. Not when she ran five miles every day in addition to weight training, isometrics, target practices, and rooftop chases.

Bitch.

"Just not appealing." Cassiopeia shrugged.

Katarina slammed her box down. She glared at her sister. "I am not ugly."

Cassiopeia feigned a yawn. "Really? When was the last time you went on a date?"

Katarina paused. "Fuck you, I'm not ugly."

"Sister, please. Do us all a favour and get some, so you can stop pigging out."

"I don't have time—"

"Afraid of being reject—"

A blade slammed into the space between Cassiopeia's thumb and index finger. She wisely withdrew her hand from the table.

"How hard can it be? I've drawn dozens of men to my bed easily. And you're a Du Couteau. You should be able to charm someone as long as you keep your mouth shut."

Katarina looked uneasy. "I don't know who—"

"Just pick a man and fuck him. It's not that hard."

There was a long silence.

"You do like men, right?"

Katarina bit her lip. There was a terrified look in her eyes.

Cassiopeia sighed. Great, not only was Katarina incompetent at seducing people, she was also in the closet.

"It'll be an embarrassment to our family name if you try anything yourself. Let me handle things, and you'll bring a woman to your bed in no time."

"Hold your tongue! What if people hear you say I like—" Katarina turned scarlet. She began to splutter.

Gods.

"How about Ashe?" Cassiopeia pointed a few tables down where the Frost Archer was eyeing the assassin over her shoulder. Upon being noticed, she turned away; her husband glowered at Katarina and bared his teeth.

"She's married."

"...and?"

Katarina looked away. "She's not my type."

Cassiopeia rolled her eyes. "Real?"

Katarina flicked her wrist, and a blade glanced against Cassiopeia's throat. "You talk too much."

The youngest Du Couteau pulled Katarina's blade down. "And you're a coward."

Katarina twisted her hand, and the blade brushed against Cassiopeia's heart. "One of these days..."

"Not if I get you first." Cassiopeia looked her sister in the eyes. "Coward."

Cassiopeia felt the tip press against her chest, and she thought for a moment that she made a very, very bad call this time. Eventually, Katarina sheathed her knife and withdrew from the table, muttering darkly. The remaining Du Couteau looked over her shoulder with a victorious expression. Inside, she felt like she was having three heart attacks. Katarina really needed to get laid if that was the kind of reaction coming out of her.

Cassiopiea needed an easy target to set her sister up with. She glanced at the various champions lingering around Morgana's increasingly profitable cafe. That archer was still looking at where her sister had left, but her jealous husband guarded her like a dog. Someone would lose several limbs in that arrangement before Katarina could even get near the Avarosan's bed. It would have to be someone unattached, someone able to deal with her sister's eccentricities, someone who was so clearly gay that she was shooting double rainbows.

Cassiopeia spotted the Crownguard girl trot by the glass doors when Ahri sauntered by, and her head did a 180 degrees turn as the fox slipped into the cafe.

Hmmm...

Eh, Katarina could do worse.

The Demacian brat looked around and approached her with a nervous expression on her face. Cassiopeia watched her as she came up.

"Cassiopeia Du Couteau."

"Luxanna Crownguard. To what do I owe the pleasure?" Cassiopeia smiled. Was it really going to be this easy?

Lux coughed. She tugged at her sleeve, smoothing over invisible wrinkles. "I was wondering about Katarina..." She peered at Cassiopeia through long lashes. Cassiopeia noted with pleasure that her sister would probably like those eyes. "Is she single?"

"Who wants to know?" It _was _going to be this easy. Sweet.

"I wanted to ask her out on a date—" YES. "—with my brother."

Oh.

Well, a lay was a lay. Plus, if Katarina was smart, she could use the brother to get to Lux.

"And why does that matter to me?" Cassiopeia leaned back, pretending to look bored.

Lux looked around. "Because I have information about a certain shipment of Swain that may bear your image."

Cassiopeia sat straight up. "What are you talking about? What image?" What the hell was Swain—?

Lux shook her head. "I may drop the coordinations of the shipment accidentally should I get distracted with some information." She leaned in closer. "How would I invite a Du Couteau out?"

Cassiopeia laced her fingers together. She smiled wickedly. Too easy. "Well, Katarina does like games..."

[End generic flashback]

Cassiopeia swore. "I've invested too much into this for Katarina to screw it up." She slithered towards the door. "Let's go, Talon."

Talon followed her. "...you do plan to tell me what happened, right?"

"Look, all you need to know is that we're going to find Singed and get something that'll guarantee Katarina a fuck."

* * *

"...so why are we at Swain's?" muttered Talon

Cassiopeia hunkered down in the bushes outside of the Grand General's apartment with Talon squatting in the shrub over.

"Why am even I here?' he muttered.

"Because I need your help to intercept that shipment if that brat's information is any good." And Cassiopeia had some retribution planned if it wasn't. Namely involving acid.

"I mean, what has my life become?" Talon shook his head. "And whose information? What shipment?" He ran a hand over his blade. "You withhold info and expect others to know what you're thinking about all the time." His eyes shifted. "Do you also know why Draven's so hell-bent on Katarina all of a sudden?"

Uh...

[Hazy memory of the evening following her conversation with Lux]

Draven thumped his chest. "Our team won because of Draven."

Cassiopeia snarled. "Shut up. You weren't that important." Yes, he was.

"Did you see me slice that nighthunter in half?' He mimicked a throw then Vayne yelping.

"We were there too, you know," Darius intoned.

"And you took bolts to the face for Draven, which he appreciates. Draven has to think of his precious modelling career."

Sion grunted on the other side. Draven patted him affectionately on the head.

Cassiopeia recalled chugging more alcohol to drown out Draven's voice. Katarina came in at some point to congratulate them on a victory for Noxus. She sneered at them all with her arrogant smile, perfect hourglass figure, and dancer's body. Draven made some lewd comment after the elder Du Couteau had left.

Cassiopeia snorted into her drink. "You could never do my sister."

Draven smoothed back his hair. "All the bitches want Draven."

And Katarina was a bitch. Hard to refute the logic.

"By that logic, Cass should want you too," Darius pointed out.

Draven looked at Cassiopeia. Cassiopiea flexed her claws, and Draven cringed and crossed his legs. The last time Draven tried to hit on her, it ended up with him in the hospital to be treated for a mysterious spray of acid to the crotch. She had been trying to do the world a favour.

"Katarina would never sleep with you," Cassiopeia insisted. Mostly because that would screw up her plans to set up her sister with Lux.

"Draven can get any woman to sleep with him. He already has." Draven spread out his arms threatrically. Darius coughed something that sounded like, "Bullshit" under his breath. "Katarina will fall for my charms like all the other Noxian women."

"Please. You haven't got anything Katarina would remotely be attracted to." Like boobs, if the elder Du Couteau would admit it. "You'd be lucky if you'd even get her to look at you, low born. All you have are your flashy shows. Your mind is weak and unsuitable for a noble."

"Draven doesn't need to hear this from a whore who can't even get laid."

"Fuck you," Cassiopeia snarled, her words slurring together. "Fine. You're a creep. She's a bitch. And you all deserve each other."

She proceeded to fall off her barstool.

As Sion was carrying her out, she heard Draven mutter to Darius in a rare tone of uncertainty, "Do you also think I wouldn't be able to get Katarina?"

"Yeah, you're pretty stupid."

"I'll show you. I'll show all of you how Draven rolls!"

"Stupidly."

Cassiopeia was out the bar as the brothers began to squabble and promptly passed out.

[End hazy memory]

"I don't know. Draven's just weird." Cassiopeia shrugged. "Shush, I see someone coming."

She pointed at the lit path beside them where a grunting Mundo was carrying a large wooden box towards Swain's apartment. He dropped it unceremoniously, taking off his delivery cap and wiping his brow.

"Mundo work too hard. Moonlight as delivery boy to pay off corporate lawsuit. Mundo thought genetic manipulation to make subject stronger was excellent idea. Side-effect to look like Mundo double benefit." He scratched his head before pushing the box up to the building until it blocked the double doors. Mundo shrugged and took out his cleaver to hack it down to size. He whistled a jaunty tune as he took off a large corner.

"MUNDO." Swain's voice echoed from several floors up. "I will pick it up in the morning. Do not touch it."

"Mundo need signature for controlling boss."

Swain grumbled. "Meet me up at the fire escape around the back of the building." After the incident of Shyvana burning down the Demacian building, the summoners made it a requirement for all dorms to have a fire escape of some sort, leading to a sell-out of the tallest ladders their local hardware supply depot could manage.

Mundo lumbered around to the back, and Cassiopeia moved out from behind the bushes.

"Let's go. I need to see what Swain's doing with my image." She plunged an arm into the box and retrieved something soft and squishy, bringing it into the light.

Cassiopeia turned over the plush doll in her hand. It had a round face with oversized green eyes and a smirk below its fray of red cloth hair. It looked fat in her opinion. Just like the original.

Talon glanced at it. "What is that?"

Cassiopeia rolled her eyes and handed over the doll."Swain's idea." So, that was what he was doing.

The blademaster held it between the tips of his thumb and index finger. "To make poor quality dolls of Katarina?"

"To make poor quality dolls of everyone." Except LeBlanc. For some reason, the LeBlanc doll had real Ionian silk for clothing and Freljordian mink fur for hair. Someone was clearly Swain's favourite.

Each city-state had its own way to to pay for damages to the League via unintentional and intentional fights. Demacia sold fine-china plates with its champions' face on them. Ionia ran a volunteer hospital at the League. Bilgewater circulated bootlegged "exotics", and Piltover vacillated between auctioning off its technology patents and security detail. Who knew what the hell Freljord was doing? Probably selling that blue bird's eggs or something. Noxus, however, under Swain's careful guidance decided to ignore all the other city-states' methods and completely sell out. Faces and memorabilia of all its champions were currently in mass-production to be sold across Valoran to fans and haters alike; projections of Demacia's purchases alone, for the use of effigy burnings, were reported to be in the millions. However else the Noxian champions felt about him, the Grand General was turning out to be a talented businessman.

"Look at yours." She pulled out a miniature version of Talon and pulled out the cord at the back.

"This blade's my favourite," the doll intoned in a poor, squeaky imitation of Talon's cadence. It sounded like a punted yordle. "Pathetic."

Talon looked at the Katarina doll in his hands and warily tugged at the white cord.

"Blood for Noxus! Hahahaha!" The doll vibrated as it screamed. "If you run, you won't see me stab you."

Cassiopeia turned to Talon. "Katarina was never good at jokes."

"One would require a sense of humour for that kind of thing," Talon agreed as he turned over the doll. He picked up a Singed doll and was about to pull the string before stopping and quickly putting it down.

Cassiopeia glanced over to the doors leading the entrance. They were completely blocked by the giant box that easily spanned more than the width of the two champions, and Cassiopeia didn't have the patience to melt the entire thing down. "Let's find another way up, Talon."

Talon put down the Urgot doll he was walking across the ground. "Aren't we going to destroy these things?"

Destroy them? They were adorable. Plus, the Cassiopeia doll looked much slimmer than the Katarina one, and Cassiopeia had to admire Swain's eye for detail.

"We can always deal with them later." She looked upwards. "Singed is probably up there."

"...chasing after Singed is usually a bad idea."

"We need to get a love potion from him." It's the only way Katarina couldn't mess this up.

"...this can't end well." He followed her anyway.

The ladder was rickety, and creaked under Mundo's weight as he clambered down. "Mundo no get tip? Swain cheap bastard! Mundo go kick in box!"

There was a reason why Mundo's delivery service wasn't so popular among the champions.

They let the muttering scientist trample by and stared up the four floors to Swain's room. Talon grunted as he tested out the ladder. "This thing doesn't seem fit enough for two people to climb at a time." He looked at her. "How were you planning to get up anyway?"

This was how Talon ended up crawling onto Swain's balcony with Cassiopeia hugging his shoulders for dear life. Well, it was supposed to be his shoulders; it ended up being his neck for the last 20 feet or so. Though Cassiopeia could technically climb the ladder herself, she felt that if Talon carried her, it'd be easier for everyone all around. And by everyone, she meant just her.

She slithered off of him while he wheezed on the ground, brushing herself off. "So, this is Swain's place. No traps? No alarms?" She eyed the opaque glass door, and pushed it open cautiously as Talon got to his feet.

It swung open, and Swain was inside, muttering and bent over a card with a red-clothed table behind him, complete with a bottle of champagne in an ice bucket nearby.

Cassiopeia and Talon stared at Swain. The Grand General of Noxus turned around and stared back. His expression showed no change, though Beautrix screamed.

Swain hobbled in front of the small table he had set up in his chambers, complete with candles and a slender glass holding a single black rose. "Du Couteaus, what urgent business requires you to sneak into my chambers at this hour?" He stabbed at a bouquet of flowers on the floor, pushing them underneath the table behind him.

"Is Singed with you?" Talon asked while Cassiopeia tried to crane her neck to peer around Swain's torso. Really, what good was a snake body if you couldn't extend your neck?

"Is that for Singed?' Cassiopeia pointed at the cart with the covered trays on it.

"No! I am going to have an intelligence meeting with LeBlanc...this was someone else's."

"In your chambers?"

"Singed is down near that plant woman's garden to get something for his potions," snapped Swain. "Now, if you excuse me, I have a professional, non-romantic business meeting to attend." He hobbled away before turning back to the pair. "I want you out of my cham-"

Talon was looking at Cassiopeia while she mimicked a woman's curves with her hands and pretended to thrust.

"OUT." Swain burst into a swarm of ravens, and they shot out the window, blowing Cassiopeia and Talon off their perches.

Talon landed neatly on his feet and caught Cassiopeia. He fell to the ground when her tail smacked his face.

"Why would Singed be over there?" She brushed herself off and slithered in the directions of the Gardens. "Come, Talon."

Talon rubbed his forehead and glared at her. He trailed behind her, muttering darkly. Cassiopeia had that effect on people.

Singed was fairly easy to find. There were not a lot of people who had a permanent trail of green gas flowing from them. Talon and Cassiopeia kept a respectable distance as they called to get his attention.

"I'm busy." Singed didn't look back as he peered through man-sized fronds to watch Zyra wander around her patch of plants. "Researching."

Cassiopeia set one hand on her hips while another fished something from her top. "This is business." She pulled out a small pouch and shook it, the jingling of coins catching Singed's attention. "We need a love potion."

Singed glared at them. "I don't make love potions. I make love poisons. They poison you with love!"

...right.

"So, could we get one?" Cassiopeia pressed.

"Who's the target?"

"The Crownguard girl," she answered.

Singed turned to his left, raising an eyebrow at Talon.

"Not me!" hissed the assassin as he shuddered.

"Not me either," Cassiopeia added when Singed glanced at her in turn. "It's for Katarina. She's hopeless at these kinds of things." She held the pouch in her hand. "And I'm sure a shrewd businessman like yourself would know when to keep matters discrete."

Singed was a very shrewd businessman indeed. He took the pouch and took out his receipt book. "How long do you need the effects to last for?"

Cassiopeia shrugged. "As long as it'll last. Make sure it's colourless and odourless as well." Katarina really needed all the help she could get.

"You'll have your potion by daylight. Now, leave me be." He waved them off as he turned to watch Zyra in her gardens. "Pollinate those plants. Yes..."

Cassiopeia and Talon gave each other a look. They hurried from the mad chemist.

They parted at the hallway before their rooms and pretended that nothing happened that night. Cassiopeia ruined the effect when she rushed over to Talon's place with Singed's potion in hand, having impatiently skimmed through his lengthy written instructions. Did potion work? Yes. That's all she needed to know. Any side effects Katarina could deal with later.

She pounded on Talon's door, and when the irritated assassin opened it, she grabbed his arm and hauled him to the Hall. The best time to catch any champion was usually at breakfast, especially since today had gourmet pastries delivered from Morgana's Cafe.

Cassiopeia rushed the buffet line and sat down at a strategically close table to the Crownguard girl. Talon slipped in the seat next to her, grumbling as he buttered his bagel.

"What's your plan now?" He scowled as a shadow fell over both of them.

"Enjoying ze pastries? They were inspired by my 'ouse."

"Beat it, Laurent." Cassiopeia sulked into her chair. She was in no mood to deal with prissy Demacians. More so than usual anyway.

"What fine manners. Clearly, the product of your Noxian upbringing." Fiora paraded in front of them, nose turned up so high, Cassiopeia could count the hairs jutting out.

Cassiopeia tapped her fingers on the table. "What do you want?"

Fiora looked around. "Where iz your sister?"

Cassiopeia arched an eyebrow. "Why? You want to bring her to bed?" PLEASE, say yes. That would solve the let's-get-Katarina-laid dilemma that Cassiopeia had been having.

The duelist sneered at them. "As if I would ever want to be with any of you Noxians. I just came by to see if Katarina was still boasting of being ze greatest blademaster in Valoran." Talon began sharping a blade while Cassiopeia made a rude hand gesture, which offended Taric the next table over. He tossed down his napkin and left, muttering about the nerve of some people. "An' she iz not here to defend her claim. How much like a Du Couteau. If she comes, tell her I will be hitting ze track if she wants to prove herself." She levelled a stare at Cassiopeia as if the snake could make up for her sister's absence. She strutted away, and Cassiopeia put on a hand on Talon's chest to stop him.

He growled. "I could—"

"No, she's not our target." And besides, Cassiopeia wanted to rip the Demacian a new hole in her pride herself. She just had to bide her time. "We need to focus on getting to Lux." She got up and weaved her way through the buffet line until she was two tables away from the light bearer.

Talon trailed behind her. He glanced out the window where the track laid beyond it. He grunted. "Isn't Katarina running as well?"

Look, Cassiopeia could only deal with one of Katarina's life problems at a time.

"She can handle Laurent herself." She pointed towards Lux discretely, and Talon leaned forward. "We need to get her."

Talon eyed Lux sitting by the traitor for some reason, who looked slightly uncomfortable. "She won't trust any drink you give her."

"Mmmhmmm." Cassiopeia nudged Talon along closer to the Demacian's table. She eyed the young Ionian captain of the guards nearby who was staggering under the weight of her meal. "We'll just have to come up with a distraction."

"Such as?"

Cassiopeia shoved Talon into Irelia, flipping the Ionian's tray over their heads and onto a passing Sejuani. "Ashe is the rightful ruler of Freljord, and Sejuani is utterly weak, Talon? You can't go around saying that in public!"

Sejuani's eyes narrowed. Talon dove aside as a mace came down and split a table in two. The yordles formerly occupying it stared at Winter Claw leader for a few moments before realizing their lunch table was now gone and hopping to their feet in anger. Ziggs frantically jabbed at the tall Freljordian warrior before realizing he didn't have a bomb in his hand. He pulled one from his belt and was promptly restrained by Tristana and Poppy. Teemo jumped up, and tried to diplomatically explain how Sejuani's attack has left the yordles without a table to eat and, in the hopes of good faith between the cities-states, they would allow the disrespect to escape their notice should the Winter Claw leader desist from further damage. This would have gone over better had Sejuani been listening instead of playing pin-the-mace-on-Talon's-skull.

The Radiant Dawn entered the hall, sighed, and came over to break up the fight. As she approached, Sejuani knocked Talon into her, and she fell back. Lux jumped up to help Leona, and Cassiopeia quickly slithered by Lux's table, dropping the powder into the mage's drink as she quickly brushed her hand over it. Riven whipped around and saw her. Cassiopeia deliberated on whether the Gardens needed a nice Riven-shaped statue to decorate them. She leaned forward instead and whispered, "You know, the offer I made back at my Father's house is still valid. My bed could use a companion." She ran her tongue over her lips, hoping to distract the swordswoman.

Riven turned a bright red and looked away. Heh, still got it.

Quickly, Cassiopeia signalled to Talon to move away since the need for a distraction was over. She made a noise of disgust when he decided that ducking Sejuani's mace was a higher priority than glancing her way.

The hall doors slammed open, and Fiora ran in, sweating streaming down her face. "Lost again, Du Couteau." She glanced up and ignored Ziggs jumping onto Sejuani's back as Talon finally managed to roll away when the Radiant Dawn stunned everyone in the nearby vicinity. "Mon Jarvan, I am thirsty."

She spied the drink near Cassiopeia's hand and snatched it from the snake. "Pardon-moi, mon amie," she sneered, "but a victor must replenish herself with spoils." She tossed down the drink before Cassiopeia could stop her, and the snake felt like punching a hole through the duelist's stomach. She'll have to settle for hoping that Singed miscalculated the lethal dosage instead.

Fiora gagged and coughed. "What iz this concoction? It tastes like unwashed socks-"

So much for tasteless. Thanks, Singed.

There was the sound of someone else approaching, and Fiora turned to look at them, her eyes growing large while a flush began to rise in her cheeks. Her breathing deepened, and she trembled as she took a step forward. "Ma beauté," she whispered.

"Fuck you, and your cheating lunges, Laurent." Katarina glared at them in her sweat suit, her hair matted with perspiration and a scowl on her face. The scowl deepened when she noticed that Laurent could not stop staring at her. Nor Cassiopeia, Riven, and Talon, who finally lumbered up, frost coating his blades. "What?"

* * *

"Perhaps, we should stop helping?" Talon asked while Cassiopeia watched the Grand Duelist chase her sister across a field with an armful of flowers. "How long will it last?"

"The notes said a couple of weeks or so." Cassiopeia stirred her drink. "Depends on metabolism, resistance to poisons." She paused. "Or maybe it actually said a few months." Or years. Apparently, Singed took her quite seriously when she said as long as possible.

"I love you. I'd hate to have harm come to you like this," Fiora called out, dashing up the side of a building as Katarina shunpo'd straight to the top. "Mon amour, mon coeur s'ouvre à ta voix."

Katarina hissed from the rooftop like a trapped cat. She jumped across the roofs as Fiora followed suit.

Lux watched the scene at a distance with Riven by her side, as did most other champions who were eating in the Hall. A confused expression flitted across her face at the scene in front of her, and she took a few step back into Riven. The pair turned around and headed back inside together.

Talon glanced at her. "Looks like your plan is backfiring."

Cassiopeia tented her fingers together and smiled. "Or is it?"

It totally is.

"Zut alors, you run ever so fast. Submit! You are already mine," sang the Grand Duelist, bounding after a frantic Katarina. "And I can dash forever."

"Fuck you—"

Fiora tackled her, and they toppled from sight. "As you wiiiiiiiiiiish~" There was a dull crash sound.

Cassiopeia took a sip of her drink. All right, so Plan A didn't go too well, but a Du Couteau always had a back-up plan. She would have to get personal with Lux herself.

Provided that no one else planned to interfere with her.

* * *

**Author's Endnotes:** Thanks for reading.


End file.
